SCRUCLA

"They didn't reject me! They just didn't accept me..."

Alright, let's break this thing down. Washington has already won at least a co-share of the Pac-10 title with a win against Arizona earlier today. Arizona State, which was tied for second place in the conference, lost today against Washington State, meaning that it can't claim the title. That leaves UCLA and our very own California tied for second behind Washington. What needs to happen is Cal wins the rest of its games and Washington loses its game against Washington State. If that happens, Cal and Washington will share the conference title for this season.

SO LET'S GET OUT THERE AND CHEER FOR OUR GOLDEN BEARS!!!

Double

"And I had 10 of my shots blocked! That's practically a triple-double!!!"

I was planning to get some Chem reading done this evening. I was also planning to draw a halfway decent comic. But instead I watched the Warriors game on television. The only thing I've got to say is this: Warriors fans shouting "defense" reminds me of A's fans shouting "offense."

Today wasn't very fun. Apparently there was some kind of fatal traffic accident along Derby this afternoon so when I was riding the bus down College I got stuck in a dickload of traffic. What made matters worse was that I was surrounded by a coven of high school girls on one side and some old drunk bantering on about how big a lie global warming is on the other. And then a crackhead got on and sat across from me. I love public transportation.

Correction

Now, you must be thinking that this looks familiar. I promise you it has nothing to do with a similar situation involving a Federalist and the Bill of Rights detailed in this very strip just a few days ago. Absolutely nothing.

Anyway, the meaning behind this totally original concept is that my Chem GSI screwed up my grade when she was recording the scores for our last lab report. She apparently recorded that I had gotten a 3.5/8 (!) when I had really gotten a 5.5/8. This may seem like grubbing, but hey. I've got a feeling I'm going to need every single point I earn by the end of the semester.

More Spring Training games today. The New York Mets suck less, it seems. They've got guys who hit grand slams. Unfortunately, they've also got pitchers who give up grand slams... to other pitchers. So looks like they need to remember that half of the game rests on the dude on the mound.

Spring Training

So, the first day of preseason play has officially come and gone. The Giants won at Cleveland, as our good friend Kurt has shown us. Other winners of the day include both the New York Mets and the New York Yankees, the Chicago Cubs, the LA Angels, the Detroit Tigers, the Minnesota Twins, the Cincinnati Reds, the Pittsburgh Pirates, the Houston Astros, the Texas Rangers, and the Arizona Diamondbacks.

But you could have gotten that from any old scoreboard. The real news is that the Giants, especially the rookies, are showing better potential than I had expected. The pitching is a tad inconsistent and hopefully they can improve upon that. That's... all I got from the Yahoo! Sports coverage. Curse my lack of adequate resources. Anyway, Kurt and I will keep you updated on the goings ons in both Arizona and Florida as we count down to the highly anticipated Opening Day!

The Math Ninja

Huh? Do you all know something that I don't? Who is the Math Ninja??? I MUST KNOW!!!

Anyway, big props to the Math Ninja, whoever he is, for helping me work out that bitch of a problem. Believe it or not, I don't at all mind if I get a question wrong, just so long as I can figure it out. It only bothers me when I can't get the answer even after the quiz itself is finished. What's next for our Math Ninja? I think I'm going to need to make a nemesis for him. I'm thinking either Isaac Newton, the bastard father of calculus itself; or Brook Taylor, creator of the most difficult branch of single-variable calculus I have ever come in contact with.

Oh yeah! I'm so excited for the start of the Spring Training games tomorrow! I'm a big fan of baseball, and I know that they are just a bunch of exhibition matches, but their beginning marks the coming of the highly-anticipated 2009 MLB season! April can't come soon enough. Be sure to tune in to College Chronicles tomorrow as our own Kurt Warner breaks it down.

1788 Drama

So today I read some of the Letters of Agrippa, which were basically the Federalist Papers for the Anti-Federalists. If that makes any sense at all. Now, I know how crucial a time 1788 was in the development of American government, but I can't imagine anything more than a bunch of old white guys in powdered wigs competing to see who has the longest sausage.

As that image burns itself into your parietal lobes, let me take this moment to clear some things up about myself. From some of my previous postings, I can see how one might dismiss me as a cynic or a misanthrope. On the contrary, my dear readers, I am an existentialist. I don't see mankind as instinctively good or evil, but rather base my judgement of individuals on their individual actions. I am not one to pigeonhole the entire human race into an arbitrary category. That being said, I am not without my prejudices. For example, I hate a whole lot of people who went (and currently go to) my high school, even without really getting to know them. For all I know, they could have been halfway decent people who only occasionally smoked in the bathroom or get drunk and break a few windows or blow up a vending machine. Maybe I'm wrong to think the way I do. Maybe I should be more open minded. Maybe I... wait... how the hell did we get here from talking about old men's sausages? It must be Monday...

Lazy Sunday

Now I know what to do if I have an ENTIRE FUCKING DAY to kill: read the Federalist Papers. My god, reading 20 of them (there are like 80 in total) made me want to travel back in time and shoot Hamilton before he even got a chance to get himself shot to death in a duel. And Madison... ooohhh don't even get me STARTED on Madison. To make a long story short, I didn't really have time to do much of anything after I was done reading those articles. No wonder the American people accepted the federal system! They didn't want to sit through 80 more of these blowhards' long-winded justifications of an already legitimate type of government.

Anyway, as the comic states, I missed out on watching the Academy Awards. However, I am thrilled to learn that everybody who deserved the win got it this evening, marking what I believe to be the second straight year that the Academy has gotten it right. Slumdog Millionaire took its rightful place as one of the best films of all time, Sean Penn got what he deserved for his portrayal of Harvey Milk, and Heath Ledger cemented his place in history as he completed his posthumous Supporting Actor sweep. I would have enjoyed watching Wolverine MC the event, but alas, commitment to academics once again came first. I guess all I need to do now is to watch Best Foreign Language Film Departures, courtesy of Japan. And maybe I'll watch WALL-E if I have the time.

DIE. HARD. NOW.

I've noticed it has gotten progressively more difficult to study in the middle of the day if I stay in my room. At this point it is nigh-impossible due to the myriad miscreants that lurk right outside my building. The cold weather is actually nice because it makes them leave during the night, but they are still rather active during normal business hours. The great irony is that, although I'd never convince myself to actually go through with it, my window provides a perfect vantage point through which I can pick them off if I wanted to. But I'm a nonviolent guy. No rifles or Bomberman-esque explosives for me. I'll just wait until they all die of frostbite or the plague or something.

CCMC

Presenting the first-ever College Chronicles Math Competition! HOORAY!!!

Seriously, though, I had this question on a quiz today in math. I couldn't solve it, of course, so I just crossed out the original problem, wrote down an easier integral, and solved that one. I don't know, maybe I'll get some comedy points or something. Or maybe I'll flunk the class.

Anyway, I'd be really grateful if one of you rockstars out there would be willing to enlighten this poor cartoonist on how to solve this debacle. The prize for a correct answer is a special guest-star spot on an upcoming College Chronicles! Or if that doesn't suit your fancy, you can receive a special prize package containing original sketches and stuff from yours truly. Good luck!

Structure

Today was a bust. I THOUGHT I was finished with my Beer's Law lab, but when I was done there was one tiny part of my calculations that still bothered me. I just figured, "Fuck it, it's past midnight, and I'm tired." So I printed out the report the way it was and just went to sleep. By the time I woke up this morning, that little nagging doubt had evolved into absolute certainty that I had calculated the concentration incorrectly and I had to do the report from scratch. I knew I wouldn't be able to enjoy my day off from PoliSci lecture...

Oh yeah, and I flunked last week's lab report.

Beer's Law

Special thanks to Brandon for his help in the demonstration.

Seriously, though, I have a fat lab report on this very subject due tomorrow, and I haven't touched it yet. So if you excuse the skimpy update, I will get cracking on this fun activity. I may need to hit the old Beer's Law myself once I'm through.

Whoopsies

REALLY wish I had known that before I finished the paper. I had to go back and basically start it from scratch. Not fun. Fortunately, lecture is cancelled on Thursday, meaning I only have Chem lab that day. Yay. Unfortunately, I appear to be in Classics discussion at the exact same time that I am supposed to turn in my paper on Friday. Fortunately, Hazuki is nice enough to deliver it for me. Unfortunately... I'll probably get an F.

Day Off

Well, I hope everybody enjoyed their day off! I really don't want to go to class tomorrow, but at least I have a relatively easy day with only PoliSci lecture and PoliSci discussion.

Now to clear up some vague references in this comic. Chris is currently set to star in an upcoming play whose name and production dates escape me for the moment. From what he's told me, his role is hardly of the dramatic type, but I'm sure he will at least practice his lines with cheesy, overhyped emotion. Also, the lead man apparently dropped off the face of the Earth and they don't know what they are going to do about that. Hazuki and I are in the same PoliSci class, and we had the same paper to write over the weekend. It's due Thursday, but we were planning on finishing it over the weekend so we could talk to our GSI about it tomorrow in discussion. Hopefully she has made some progress. Lastly, the UConn Huskies were upended by the Pittsburgh Panthers today at home. I was rooting for UConn. And once again my support proved to be lethal. I gotta stop doing that.

Hazuki

The reference to me getting sued is taken from the "Disclaimer" comic from a couple of weeks ago. As if you guys would forget, with you being such avid followers and all. But yeah, Hazuki will be joining the College Chronicles cast. Let's give her a warm, internet welcome.

Today was not a very productive day, to tell you the truth. I finished all of my reading for PoliSci, but not much else. Probably because I spent most of the day asleep (I woke up at 12) and then some more time catching up on all the baseball news from across the country. Some initial reactions/predictions:
1) ADAM DUNN TO THE WASHINGTON NATIONALS??? Cool. Maybe the Nats will only lose 90 games this season. They'll still finish dead last in the National League, though. You can trust me on that.
2) My San Francisco Giants moving up in the world??? Maybe. I'm confident about their rotation and their bullpen. No questions there. All they need now is a dude who can hit more than 16 home runs. Sizing up the competition (the Dodgers without Manny or Derek Lowe, the Rockies without Matt Holliday, the Padres continuing to be the Padres), it looks like the main threat will the the Arizona Diamondbacks and the pitching dominance of Brandon Webb and Danny Haren if they can do it like they did it last season.
3) The New York Yankees: Eh, theoretically, if you get all the good players, you should dominate the game. It will be interesting to see whether that happens or not. I don't think it will.
4) The New York Mets: They have a bullpen now. As if that was the only problem these last couple of seasons.
5) The Chicago Cubs: Wouldn't it be nice to see some completely random team win the World Series this season?

Geometry of Love

Special thanks to my bff Hazuki for the idea!

Anyway, I'm sorry for the poor comic quality and lack of written updates over this past week, but it has been kind of busy for me. It all started with the Chem midterm on Monday (which I FUCKIN' ACED by the way), and then went downhill from there, with a bunch of assignments for every class due on the same day and blah blah blah lame excuses that nobody cares about. Now it is the weekend, though, and what a weekend it will be! Our very own California Golden Bears men's and women's basketball teams face off against the hated Stanford Fir Tree today, with our boys in Berkeley and our gals in Palo Alto. Best luck to both of our teams and GO BEARS! Other news, the Academy Awards are next Sunday, and I will be very disappointed if Slumdog Millionaire doesn't win the awards it deserves, especially Best Picture and Best Director (Danny Boyle). And last of all, today marks the beginning of a much needed long weekend for your exhausted cartoonist, so expect some better comics for the next few days. That appears to be it... oh wait, what's this? Something about "Val-en-tine's Day?" Oh, that's right! Today is Single's Awareness Day! So do me a big favor and open up a tube of cookie dough, turn on the tube and celebrate la experiencia sola! As for the rest of you, get the hell off of the internet and go spend the rest of the day telling her how pretty she looks gobbling down an entire package of dark chocolate.

Astronomy Club

Darwin Day

Math Lecture

The Truth

Pretty Colors

Filler

Name Game

Out of the Frying Pan...

Chem midterm on Monday, plus a dongload of PoliSci reading for Tuesday... this weekend is going to suck.

Not tonight though! I'm going with some friends to see the Circus Oz perform at Zellerbach Hall. I don't know what it's about but it apparently has something to do with kangaroos. That makes it awesome.

Remedial

Goddamn WebAssign. Why do I only get one chance for true/false questions?

Disclaimer

MYSTERY SOLVED.

Critics

We were talking about Benjamin Franklin today in PoliSci and Prof. Stimson asked which dollar bill he was on. Somebody raised their hand and said the $20 bill. I found that hilarious. Then I remembered Slumdog Millionaire and I felt even happier. GO SEE THAT FILM.

Zero Lovers

Honest to god, this has got to be the dumbest movie premise in recent memory.

Related news, I can't even remember the last time I went to see a movie with another human being. I'd go with my new best friend Kurt Warner, but he's busy preparing for the Pro Bowl right now.

Kurt

Here's a nice little fact for you: College Chronicles is the only webcomic with Kurt Warner!

But seriously, folks, those of us who watched the Super Bowl this afternoon were treated to a fantastically entertaining show. It amounted, in my humble opinion, to be even better than last year's Giants vs. Patriots. This game had it all: action, drama, suspense, miraculous catches, record-setting plays, everything! I thought that both teams played very well indeed, and although Pittsburgh came away with the Lombardi trophy, the Cardinals have nothing to be ashamed about (unless you are talking about the Stanford Cardinal, which, as a matter of fact, has plenty to be ashamed about, but that is another post entirely). A mighty finish to a pretty decent season in the NFL that is leaving me thirsty for more. Now I just can't wait for next year!

For now, however, stay tuned to College Chronicles and its new Man of the Year, Pro Bowler, MVP co-star, Kurt Warner.